Thursday, February 10, 2011

2006 post "The Breakup"

Chapter 8-The breakup
   First of all i don't know what a blog is.  It's been rumored that the breakup is an appropriate title to give the separation between two non-fully committed persons because the defined relationship as they know it is broken.  This signifies that the understanding they have as to what they are is ruptured.  Nine times out of ten it is one person that has made the decision that they aren't happy with the relationship, circumstances that revolve around them, or the harsh one; they aren't satisfied with their partner and think they can do better. 
What's the proper way to react when you're getting broken up with?  Let's discuss two possible scenarios.  One, you get bitter and upset.  This only reiterates to the breakor that he/she is justified in ending the relationship, and makes them want to get out of there asap.  Second, you stay calm, confident and understanding.  Instantly the breakor will see that you know what you have to offer is valuable and that loosing you is their loss.  Telling the breakor that you are sorry and that they deserve better often is salt in the wound.  Advantages in the latter of the reactions helps soften the blow to you as the breakee and will help maintain future friendly encounters with the breakor. This will also increase the level of respect to which you are held by the breakor and everyone else he/she associates with.
Now what's the proper way to break up with someone?  We've already discussed three reasons for which you might want to break up with someone.  First and foremost make 100% sure that you fully intend on not dating the person any longer.  If you're not happy with the relationship then make sure you tell them all the ways that you expected them to act.  Hopefully this isn't the first time they've heard what you're expectations are.  In order to have a healthy relationship in the first place you really shouldn't have any expectations to begin with because everyone brings something unexpected to a relationship and they shouldn't be penalized for preconceived notions you might have.  Make sure to tell them why you don't want to date them.  You hopefully care enough about the person to want what's best for them so by telling them the problems they'll know what to work on for their next relationship.  If the problem is circumstances revolving the relationship then it's most likely bad timing.  Explain why it's bad timing.  If the problem is your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't good looking enough then lie through your teeth to their face.  No one should have to hear this.  You're the mentally handicap one who started dating them in the first place so it's your fault.  You've dug your own grave and good luck on getting out.  In most cases where this is the problem, you'll get the famous Costanza, "it's not you... it's me." 
Be careful not to fall for the good responses listed earlier cause if you're not careful you'll get sucked right back into dating them and then three days later you'll be faced with bringing up the same conversation.  You may get lucky however and they actually learn and try to do their part, and if you're willing to do yours well then by've got something you may want to hold on too.
This last part is a little sketchy but for the first little bit, it's been the case with my relationships as well as my friends.

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